Zummertor

Good one ! too close for comfort

Could have been worse, but certainly a a bit of a jobs worth not to have just ticked you off, but then no points and at least you get valid insurance when other MOT / Tax done, guess in mean time you have to drive something else. If you replace the girlfriends fast enough I suppose the nagging can be avoided but this may just a theory !

This may be apt for this morning, hope you all had a good one ! Marty wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Marty looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table, "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!" So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Marty asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home after 3 AM, drunk and delirious . Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door." Confused, Marty asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast in on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh, that! Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, "Lady, leave me alone, I'm married!" A self-induced hangover - £100.00 Broken furniture - £200.00 Breakfast - £10.00 Saying the right thing - PRICELESS

Excellent ! Hope you have a dry first day

Very double edged

The Texas preacher rose with an angry red face. "Someone in this holy congregation has spread a rumour that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which my family and this Christian community cannot tolerate. I am angry and embarrassed and I do not intend to accept this. Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family." No one moved. The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel peace and the glory of the righteous God. Now stand and confess your transgression." Again, all was quiet. Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke. "Reverend I think there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were a member of the Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets!"

We had this discussion, admittedly it had beers involved. What he was saying is that this is a good approximation because the difference becomes too small only a few mph, the point being that speed is by far the biggest factor regardless of tyre types / rubber mixtures, so don't expect a massive practical difference. Obviously racing is pushing things to limits so tolerences are all needed to get the extra little bits. Seemed logical at the time and given the refernces in the airline industry to this it may be transferable to cars but may need some constant adjustment. The point is I don't know and thought maybe one of you much wiser people would know. Out of curiousity has anyone tried to deliberately aquaplane in a car and then change to smaller tyres to see if it happens again ?

Apparently, tyre width has little difference as the tyre pressure makes the difference. May be gibberish but having heard it I thought I'd share to see what you all thought. Usually aviation industry does its research, don't know if this applies to cars though.

Good one ! At least try and drive on pick up before parting with that final amount of money. But then hopefully all is well and enjoy.

Having read a couple of posts about Aquaplaning which I suspect we've all had the experience of in one car or another I remembered that there is apparently a formula for speed and aquaplaning. I guess the Mad Scientist will know this in detail. This came from an EasyJet pilot I know and says this is as a good rule of thumb as any so as he talks in Knots, we'll multiply by 1.15'ish to get mph Formula: aquaplaning may occur when min speed is greater than 1.15 * 9 * √ tyre pressure in psi and then if started it won't stop until the speed drops below 1.15 * 7.5 * √ tyre pressure in psi Once the depth of water exceeds the tyre tread the tyre behaves as if it were bald. One strange point he made was that as aquaplaning occurs a pool of steam is generated under the tyre which causes the tyre rubber to start to melt. So not only a but it costs you £££££ even if you stay on road and don't hit anything. I'm told that this in in aviation training and to get there it must be proven. How much of this is true I don't know but it certainly makes you think, although doing that maths whilst driving in the wet and looking at speed, traffic etc. probably isn't going to happen.

Snow ? I've been going to Finland on and off with my job over last few years and once they change to winter tyres it seems to work out the same as in summer regardless of tyre width. Some taxi drivers seem to think they are in a rally permanently. Not much snow here in Sunny Somerset but up north in Bath they get some occaisionally. We do get the odd rain shower though, makes it slippy on those muddy lanes, tend to use Quattro Audi in duff weather, but still need to keep that right foot under control to not use those bi-turbos too quickly.

Id guess at Swansea Would that be like Alabama then for the Welsh ? Fun driving around Gower in the rain to come.

Sent to me my an American lawyer who claims they hang correctly Nag, Nag, Nag There was an attorney who got home late one evening after a very taxing day trying to get a stay of execution for a client, named Wilbur Wright, who was due to be hanged for murder at midnight. His last minute plea for clemency to the state governor had failed and he was feeling tired and depressed. As soon as he got through the door his wife started on about, "What time of night do you call this? Where the hell have you been?" and so on. Too shattered to play his usual role in this familiar ritual, he went and poured himself a very large whisky and headed off to the bathroom for a long hot soak -- pursued by the predictable sarcastic remarks. While he was in the bath the phone rang, which the wife answered to be told that her husband's client had been granted his stay of execution after all. Realizing what a day he must have had, she relented a little and went upstairs to give him the good news. As she opened the bathroom door she was greeted by the sight of her husband's rear view as he bent naked over the bath cleaning the tub. "They're not hanging Wright tonight," she said, at which the attorney whirled round and screamed hysterically, "For crying out loud woman, don't you ever stop?"

http://www.sulis.co.uk/ This is owned and run from by a very decent couple I know not far from me. Perhaps you'd find something here for the ones you love or yourself ?

Good news ! welocome Lots of sliding in the rain today , not Where are you then, Texas ? Nevada ? Alabama ?

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Like saying you'll check for duplicate jokes and then post one Here are the testimonials of a few women who did.... 1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better. 2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls." 3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget. 4. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day, we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go,and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had! 5. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

An adorable little girl, all blonde curls and blue eyes walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp: "Excuthe me mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" The shopkeeper's heart melts and he gets down on his knees so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabbit, or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabbit or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabbit over there?" She, blushing, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quite voice, "I don't fink my pyfon weally givth a phuck"

Recylcing a few of old humour, I'll try and check it hasn't been posted before. This one came to me from an Aussie mate in Sydney. A physician claims that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies: "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before." "Find Amelia Earhart yet?" "Can you hear me NOW?" "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" "You know, in Arkansas we're now legally married." "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?" "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...." "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!" "If your hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!" "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity." "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?" And the best one of them all... "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is in fact not up there.

Awesome skyline. I suspect your Zed will go up the spec list fairly fast somehow too. Welcome and enjoy !

Be patience is always good advice when looking for any car as their are always more coming up. My personal view is that UK cars are the safer bet for resale especially with GT Pack but whether difference in spec v. price is worth it is a debate that will run and run. As a relative Z newbie I won't know a tenth of the others in this forum on Zeds. I'm still in first month of ownership and enjoying the occaisional "play" as well as just going with the traffic flow, car looks great reflecting in those big windows down high streets etc.

Good choice and welcome to Zed ownership. As for Beemer description, may be it might be worth playing with more you never know what investment it might prove to be, many rewards might follow

Wow I'm bad at this. Took a lot of concentration to be so bad, more beer needed.

May upset a few, but hopefully this was after the visit to your house this year !

Thought I'd share this as I've found it useful before. The site http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/insurance/ as does its related pages contains great advice which seems to work, which is exactly the advice you need. Martin Lewis really seems to know what he is doing. The gist of the advice is to give you the order of the comparing sites to use in order to get the most providers quotes in the best order. The tips and hints seem to work. The downside he does explain but I've not found it a problem, and compared to the results you get of nearly no consequence. You do need a bit of staying power to key in the information a few times and get some way ready for recording the responses you get. Highly recommended way to get your next insurance quote.

Lights on dark, huh what cheek. I know I'm getting older and some say wiser (hence buying a Zed) but not that much of a senior moment.