martinmac

He is a member on the other forum which should give any buyer confidence. Defo looks like a great buy

And so the world continues to go quietly mad

Refineries petrol prices are broadly governed by the price of crude that they buy. The goverment on the other hand are in a win win situation. With the current price of crude the government have made more revenue from the North Sea oil. They could ( ) slash 9p off a litre with this money. Like thats going to happen

Brilliant :lol:

There are signs by the road on Dartmoor saying how many sheep have been killed, who counts them

Straight into the stealers mate. Cant be good. Driving with no traction control can be fun but I have had some scary moments when I accidentally knocked it off when operation the roof control. How old is it?

Peter Kay One Liners 1) I saw a fat woman wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said 'Thyroid problem?' 2) When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. 3) I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming. 4) I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on with my real ladder. 5) I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. 6) A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals. 7) Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names. But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way. 8) My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade. 9) S*x is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand. 10) I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.' 11) If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat? 12) I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers. 13) You know that look women get when they want s*x? No, me neither 14) Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. 15) I was the kid next door's imaginary friend. 16) Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before PETER KAY'S UNIVERSAL TRUTHS 1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones. 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying. 3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger. 4) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly. 5) You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden. 6) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl. 7) You never know where to look when eating a banana. 8) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses. 9) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity. 10) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush. 11) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee. 12) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited. 13) Old ladies can eat more than you think. 14) You can't respect a man who carries a dog. 15) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan. 16) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with. 17) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. SOME GREAT QUESTIONS BROUGHT TO YOU BY PETER KAY 1) Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed? 2) If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth? 3) Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed? 4) Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your bottom? 5) Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'? 6) Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside? 7) Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer? 8) Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date? 9) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat? 10) Is French kissing in France just called kissing? 11) Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'? 12) What do people in China call their good quality plates? 13) Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? 14) What do you call male ballerinas? 15) Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'? 16) If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? 17) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from? 18) Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure. . Stop me when you have had enough

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/edito ... -20083612/ Priceless :lol:

Thats right, I have it on tape somewhere. Lot better than reading it. And as you say, it does start to get irritating

Watch out for ther sheep

Thats the problem with the "when I get my car" threads. All the build up and then you never hear anything for days cos they are out in the car +6 hrs

The twelve Days of Christmas My Dearest Darling Hubert, Santa Left me a Partridge in a Pear Tree on my Doorstep this morning, I know they came from you, what a romantic gift. Thank You Darling!! Agnes My Darling Hubert, You paid me another visit in the night, 2 turtle doves this time, they are adorable, your are so generous, your ever-loving, Agnes. Dearest Hubert, To-day, I received your very sweet gift of 3 French Hens. I am delighted, I insist, you are too kind. Your Loving, Agnes. Dear Hubert, What can I say, 4 calling birds arrived with the Postman this am. your kindness is really too much, Love Agnes. Hubert Dear, What a surprise! The postman came with 5 Gold rings, one for each finger. You really are impossible. Frankly the birds are beginning to squawk and get on my bloody nerves. Cordially your Agnes. Hubert, When I opened the door this morning, there were 6 Bloody great geese laying eggs all over my doorstep. What on earth do you think I can do with them. I cant sleep for the noise. Sincerely your Agnes. Bert, what is it with these sodding birds, Now I get 7 swans a`swimming. Is this some sick joke? The house is full of bird @*!#, stop sending bloody birds. OK BUSTER! I think I prefer the birds, what am I to do with 8 maids a`milking? Now I have 8 cows shitting all over the house and mooing all night. Lay OFF!! Agnes Look @*!# Head, What are you some kinda nut? Now I have got 9 pipers piping, and chasing the milk maids all through the cow @*!#, and the cows are trading on the birds, Enough!! Agnes. You Rotten Bastard, Now I`ve got `10 ladies dancing and pulling the pipers all night. The cows have the shits, my living room is a sea of @*!#. To hell with your presents, Agnes Listen @*!# Face, To-day I`ve received 11 lords a`leaping all over the maids, the pipers are fighting with the Lords, the birds are dead and rotting. I hate your guts, your sworn enemy Agnes. You lousy miscreant, To-day, 12 Drummers drumming have teamed up with the pipers making one hell of a din. Both lots are fighting with the lords. I dont know what happened to the maids, they probably drowned in the cow @*!#. The only way I have remained safe is to climb up the sodding pear tree, that`s so well fertilised that it`s grown through the roof Agnes. MERRY CHRISTMAS !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Its Kevin, it was posted on the other site.

You won the lottery mate Suspect it may be the same answer, he will prob be able to point you in the right direction

That'll be BigPhil again. A few choices to make but he will point you in the right direction depending on where and how you drive. http://www.350z-uk.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=8589

And Kev will come and fit it for you.

All nice a chromey when I got them, Ahh memories..... Have had a few small mishaps snce then though. Off to Wrexham soon to see the man who can

http://picasaweb.google.co.uk/kevgreen16/ChromeWheels xStric9x tells me you wanted a picture of my wheels Stuey. These are they on Kevs car before I bought them

See what you have started now Louis.

Sorry for adding Andy, yours cheered me up so I thought I'd add on a subject I feel qualified to talk on

Oh yes;)

My answer to increased tax..... "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading." ~ Henny Youngman WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not." ~ Stephen Wright WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!" ~ Brian O'Rourke WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." ~ Benjamin Franklin WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer.. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza." ~ Dave Barry WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To some ! it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can! ~ Dave Howell WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went: "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers." WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not

Difficult to know where to start nowadays

Good idea but may be a problem for me How about I always work from home then - keeps the ratio right. I dont mind doing my bit for the country Sounds fair, I also only drive to work every 2 weeks so that kees the average down.

Good result after a bad day Matt.