Arkwright

I don't play golf but my eyes are still watering

Hi Malcolmpaul welcome to the modern side but don't neglect that beautiful Proper Z.

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped and every once in a while a £20 fell out onto the pavement. Noticing this, a policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are £20 notes falling out of that bag." "Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer." Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. Where did you get all that money? You didn't steal it, did you?" "Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to a Golf course. A lot of Golfers come and pee through a knot hole in my fence, right into my flower garden. It used to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know. Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it? So, now, I stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge clippers. Every time some guy sticks his thing through my fence, I surprise him, grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me £20, or off it comes.' "Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?" "Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."

Local radio this morning. Both M1 and A1 are running fairly well through Notts. Numerous minor accidents on A1 in north of county but passable with care. Hazardous driving conditions on A1 north of Docaster through yorkshire. HTH. Just for your info the above is from phone-ins from motorists as the notts police have refused to give out traffic information this morning due to data protection issues. Another Executive Decision?

Oh dear Martin! On Sat/Sun I went down to Oxford M1, M69, M40 roads clear both days and I used the BBC weather forecast. I've just checked this in a box Mansfield /Leicester (M1), Newark/Grantham (A1) forecast is heavy snow all day Tuesday. They forecast light snow in the same area Friday night and we got 4" so I think you'll struggle if you come this way. (Got a spare bed if you get stuck in this area!)

www.veiledimage.co.uk Z Club member Funkyboogalooo, think he's in Newport

so who was it on BBC 6pm news digging his blue 350 out of the roadside snow?

ayup meduk

with a big dog factored in I'd go for a Ford Fusion TDi plenty of room inside, good fuel economy, cheap tax.

so it would Martin but it's far too nice and it doesn't fit any of the criteria (apart from the handling)

loads of choice in that price range. Go to any car supermarket page and type in your price range and no make. They will throw you up 20 - 40 examples.

lovely bit of nostalgia. Bring it to Zed Fest next year you will turn some heads with that.

GO MARKY!!! Best of luck.

Craig your 300 is a fabulous car but I don't blame you for moving up, I did and I've never stopped smiling. I found that with the 300 reliability was always at the back of my mind. Never even thought about that with the 350. Good luck with the hunt.

A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds. The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking ever more than before. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wipe your nose and then shudder violently. Are you OK?" "I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm." The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. " I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?" The woman nodded, "Pepper."

Have a look in yellow pages and the local papers under weddings. My son and his then girlfriend live and work in Oxford but wanted to marry up here. They found two nice old cars as described and also hired a vintage bus to get the guests from the church to the reception as most of them travelled up for the weekend. The bus really made the day as although peeps knew that transport would be provided no -one was expecting that.

no I was in my red ' pet food' van driving accross the A60 intending Sutton in Ash and trying to stay in a straight line whilst oggling your car

I saw you at the traffic lights on Nottingham rd this morning and had to do a double take. I thought it must be you but have only just read this post. The car looks really mean with it being all black. Looks even better than the photos. Top Job!

love 'em both!

only do standard sizes like most shops, medium, large etc. you will have to make an executive decision.

I sat with my girlfriend watching a TV program about psychology and explaining the phenomenon of “mixed emotions.†I turned to her and said, “Honey, that’s a bunch of crap. I bet you can’t tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time.†And she said: “Out of all your friends, you have the biggest penis . . . . ..."

I know what you mean GruntBoy. No, I'm ok with the seat. I do find that at the end of a long drive my left leg is starting to numb up but I have a couple of mediacal problems which may account for this. Generaly I'm comfortable with the seat. It's an 06 roadstar and i really enjoy it, no probs with headroom either.(with the roof up )

I can't remember exactly what I paid this year but I went with quick fit and even with my 25 year old son as a named driver it was well under £500 fully comp.

I'm 6'2" and heavily built. I don't have a problem but I must say that after a drive of around 200 miles I'm ready to get out. My son is a big lad at 6'6" and he is ok with it too.

ayup meduk