Arkwright

Yes I'm thinking that plus it won't have been helped by the extremely cold weather we've had coupled with lack of use. My main concern was if there was some sort of cut out I don't know about or if the cars imobiliser was set when the battery went flat would it somehow prevent starting from the jump.

Yes I have very meaty cables and a massive battery on my van. Just no sign of life at all! I have now taken the battery out (what a poxy job) and put it on charge. It was really flat and I'll leave it on trickle overnight and try again tomorrow. The terminals are not corroded but I'll clean them and the clamps up tomorrow in case there's a poor connexion.

I have not used my 350 for a while and now it will not start. I am assuming the battery is flat. Have connected it up to jump start it as per the manual but nothing happens. I have no electrics at all. If I press the unlock button on the key fob the indicators flash twice. If I press the lock button nothing happens. No lights, no horn or anything. Any suggestions please?

I have had to switch to Virgin because I live 4.25 miles from the BT exchange and the line is not likely to be updated in the near future. I received .2mb I now get 8mb

watched all 4. The best history lesson for many years

No act to follow Martin. All the shows I go to are different. I go to enjoy the event, meet super people and oggle great cars (and in this case put my feet up with a tinny while someone else sweats to organise it). It's going to be a great event and I'm thoroughly looking forward to it. (At least you won't have a club AGM stuck in the middle of your show wasting time).

my son's selling his IQ cheap but it's not shed cheap.

oh dear Martin I'm feeling old enough without these flashbacks.

Great write -up Mark (and a super looking Z) Thanks for the favourable report on Z Fest which is obviously the best event of the year. It's on again this year, hopefully better than ever. Look forward to seeing everyone there.

Well slimjim don't be scared. As far as I remember the IAM test is a very scaled down version of the police one. Be confident, don't be agressive. Forward observation and rear view mirror are where extra points can be won on the test. I don't know what commentary is like these days. If you have to do a lot then practice like mad but not on your own. Take someone in the car with you to listen and extract the wee-wee. You will know when you've got it as you can't shut up and then it never goes away - ever! Good luck with your test.

I was a police advanced driver for over 20 years and thoroughly enjoyed it. The whole method of driving is different from mot pass standard. I briefly joined the IAM but found no benefit from it personally. However I would strongly advise anyone interested in improving their driving technique to join their local group. You will have loads of fun learning and find it a really enjoyable experience plus making new friends. As mentioned by rothers2901 above "Roadcraft" is a superb book to learn from but you must remember that 'The system of car control' is continually updated as techniques and circumstances evolve and by being a member of your local IAM you should be similarly updated by the parent organisation.

I run a small business from home. I have a retirement pension from my former full time work and tax is paid at source. I pay my own tax separately to HMRC on my business and this is all above-board using an accountant. A few years ago before I became ill I had a bigger turnover than now and HMRC increased my tax payments via my pension so I did not have two tax references. Don't forget you may need to register for VAT when you reach a certain turnover. Also you will need public liability insurance and business insurance (I would see a broker re this rather than muddle through online as you will be able to explain your business to him and he will be able to advise you face to face.) You may incur a visit from your local planning dept if you work from home as a seach of your deeds may show that there are certain things you can't do. For example I have a transit size signwritten van. This is too large a vehicle to be kept at home and is written into the deeds (as was pointed out to the council by some annonymous neighbour) I now have written permission from the couincil to keep the vehicle at home! There will also be local business enterprise grouops to help and advise you and maybe start-up schemes depending on your age. Best of luck.

As an ex olutdoor pig breeder I fcukin hate foxes and the more horribly and cruelly they die is good with me. I have had foxes take dozens of piglets, far more than they can eat, and bury them in their earths in 'food stores' I am pi**ed off by four things as far as foxes are concerned: 1. Foxes 2. The toffee-nosed twats who 'hunt' foxes 3. The tree-hugging ponces that try to disrupt hunts 4. The RSPC A who 'rehome' urban foxes into the countryside with no thought as to where they dump them. When we moved into the country we were thrilled to be a part of the countryside and all it entailed and were regular supporters of the hunt. We soon changed our minds when the hunt invaded our land without permission, got horses, dogs and followers entangled in our electric fences , rode or drove their dogs irrisponsibly amongst our pigs causing considerable damage and distress to our animals and then had the unmitigated gall to blame us for having our fences switched on and causing their poor dogs and horses to panic. The most annoying thing is that they sit up on their horses and talk down to you in such a derogatory manner as if they have every right to do what they do whenever they like. The tree hugging ponces follow them on foot and are just as bad and twice as ignorant. I also had run ins with the RSPCA who continually dumped urban foxes in a thicket near our pig herd arguing that it was a suitable place to release them with a good food supply. This only stopped after four foxes were found by the RSPCA hanging from tree branches in the thicket. However the thing that pi**ed me off the most was the labour government deciding to ban hunting with dogs. Whilst the snooty arogant shits of 'hunters' are their own worst enemies I feel they have the right to ride to hounds, and carry on country pursuits without the interference of any class warfare.

Santa Rules

total lies.You should be banned.

Merry Christmas everyone. Hope you all have a great time. I'm off to Banbury to stop with eldest son for a few days.

I'm pleased to see that these sort of problems are not confined to the z club

you bought one? sold it and then bought another?

The other day I was cruising along as usual, coming onto one of our motorways, which was very busy with many very inferior cars. First off, I could not believe that the volume of traffic DID NOT slow down for me AT ALL, as I came off the slip road! I had to squeeze into a barely big enough gap between two cars in order to get onto my motorway! At least the driver of the car behind me recognised his mistake and honked an apology to me with a long blast of his horn. Unbelievably, I had to do the same again before I could get to the BMW lane. Anyway, once I was in the BMW lane, and posing along at 110 mph., enjoying the adulation that the inferior car drivers were giving me, I noticed an inferior car ahead of me which was not only in the BMW lane of my motorway, but was driving at a ridiculous 70 mph! Naturally I got within a foot or so of his rear bumper and flashed my headlights to remind him that he should not be in the BMW lane of my motorway, and to get out of my way. Of course, once he realised it was a BMW behind him, he did just that, but I could hardly believe it when he pulled straight back out again behind me! He also tried to keep up with me, and when he realised I would out-run him, he put on some blue lights in his front grill and urged me to get onto the hard shoulder so that he could congratulate me on my excellent car. Needless to say, I was eager to oblige and when we had stopped, the man gave me a piece of paper confirming what I already knew - that my car goes fast! Apparently he wants everyone to know what a superior car I have, so I have to take my driver's licence to a Police Station to be sent away to have some points put on. (They're not free points either - they're £50 each and I was only allowed 3.). But the man at the Police Station said that because I drive a BMW, it won't be much longer before I earn the full 12 points, and then I won't even NEED a driving licence, so they will take it off me! See now, THATS the sort of respect you get when you own and drive a BMW!

common sense rules

A group of guys lived and died for their Saturday morning round of golf. One got transferred to another city. It wasn't the same without him. A new woman joined their Club. She overheard the guys talking about their golf round. She said, "You know, I used to play on my golf team in college and I was pretty good. Would you mind if I joined you next week?" The three guys looked at each other. Not one of them wanted to say 'yes', but she had them on the spot. Finally, one man said it would be okay, but they would be starting early -- at 6:30 a..m. He figured the early tee-time would discourage her. The woman said this may be a problem, and asked if she could be up to 15 minutes late. They rolled their eyes, but said okay. She smiled and said, "Good, I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45." She showed up at 6:30 sharp, and, playing right-handed, beat all three of them with an eye-opening two-under-par round. She was fun and a pleasant person, and the guys were impressed. Back at the clubhouse, they congratulated her and invited her back the next week. She smiled, and said, "I'll be there at 6:30 or 6:45." The next week she again showed up at 6:30 sharp. Only this time, she played left-handed. The three guys were incredulous as she still beat them with an even par round, despite playing with her off-hand. They were totally amazed. They couldn't figure her out. She was again very pleasant and didn't seem to be purposely showing them up. They invited her back again, but each man harbored a burning desire to beat her. The third week, the guys had their game faces on. But this time, she was 15 minutes late, which made the guys irritable. This week the lady again played right-handed, and narrowly beat all three of them. The men mused that her late arrival was due to petty gamesmanship on her part. However, she was so gracious and so complimentary of their strong play, they couldn't hold a grudge. Back in the clubhouse, all three guys were shaking their heads. This woman was a riddle no one could figure out. They had a couple of beers, and finally, one of the men asked her point blank, "How do you decide if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed?" The lady blushed, and grinned.. "That's easy," she said. "When my Dad taught me to play golf, I learned I was ambidextrous. I like to switch back and forth. When I got married after college, I discovered my husband always sleeps in the nude. From then on, I developed a silly habit. Right before I left in the morning for golf practice, I would pull the covers off him. If his you-know-what was pointing to the right, I golfed right-handed; if it was pointed to the left, I golfed left-handed." The guys thought this was hysterical. Astonished at this bizarre information, one of the guys shot back, "But what if it's pointing straight up?" She said, "Then, I'm fifteen minutes late."

I'm of the same opinion as you. I think you'll get away with it until some grumpy bugger picks fault. Nice buy!

when I started on forums I used my own name then I became the Z Club shopkeeper. I was trying to think of a more interesting forum name and one day someone referred to me as Arkwright in their post. It got taken up and so I changed my forum name.

happy birthday Neil.