Her Majesty’s Government
Our Ref: 3692/f
Date: 19/06/2014
Subject: Changes
To whom it may concern,
Due to changes in the environment, and the way we look after our health these days (i.e. what we eat and how much exercise we take). The life expectancy of the average human has changed, and with these changes we have also noticed growth changes to the average person.
So to keep abreast of these changes we are doing a survey on penis sizes, we understand it would take up far too much time opening letters sent to us in response to this letter. So we are currently asking men who have a penis 3 inches or smaller to fly a white flag with a red cross on it from their car windows, and this will give us some idea on how many people are affected by the changes.
Thanks for your cooperation,