Ahh. Yep. I remember now.
With all due respect I think you're wrong if you originally don't remember posting 2 other Christmas related threads. And yes, it might be where you have "ended up in life" but it affects no 2 people in the same way. Get yourself to the doctors and ask to see a counsellor, most surgeries have one attavhed to them nowadays. Sounds to me as if there is a plan already in the making, go to Turkey and at least be with family. That has to be better than sitting alone at home waitng for the day of "gloom" to arrive, different environment, different folk, might help you feel a bit more human rathe than fretting about what you used to do with the ex.