Paid for my petrol and asked for a VAT receipt, Lovely young lady behind the counter said 
"Wow thats your company car?" Wish I worked for that company!"   
  
Next door neighbours daughters boyfriend - 
"Meh its Ok but I wouldn't have one" You stick to your banged up ??? - actually what is it? very hard to tell as there isn't any straight panels on the car   
  
"Could you not afford paint? Wondered why it was left it in primer" - Buster (Ginger Nija)