Sounds like a bit of a nightmare mate, my cousin was in the army for I think 14 years, after half that he fell out of love with it and also had a family, when he finally left he said the worst decision of his life was not doing it sooner. Have you tried career coaching or something? It sounds a bit namby-pamby but the coaches are quite brutally objective in actual fact, and can help get you some long term direction on an exit strategy and into something else you might want to do?