Just to revive this. Our quest of many months to find a car that my wife can travel comfortably has ended in a bizarre way - the answer is A Vaxhaull Vectra Design Exclusive 1.9cdti Auto
This is the most unexpected result as during previous decades I had vowed never to buy a Vauxhall and had developed a serious hang up about them.
However, in reality - it is comfortable, quiet and the seats sit quite a bit higher than many others we have tried. The back of the seat doesn't do something stupid when it reclines. The ride quality on this particular model is surprisingly good. We have a 500L boot (we need 400L) and it is relatively economical. Someone paid more than £22k around 4 years ago - they lost £16k. In the world of Vectras it is relatively expensive at just over £6.5k but it is impeccable so I don't care. The only compromise is that it has one of those wheel things to recline the seat but it is of a much more useable design and there is room to get your hand to it.
During our many visits and test drives:
1. The best customer service prize goes to Lexus who fell over themselves trying to help (equal 2nd Jaguar and Skoda specialists)
2. The slightly disappointing prize goes to Mercedes - I thought it was going to be the answer but it wasn't
3. The low speed hard ride prizes are awarded to the latest Toyota Avensis, with the Prius 2nd
4. The most comfortable seat and ride goes to the Renault Megane (bootyliscious version)
6. The too small a boot prize and the "will it still be going in 3 months time" prize goes to the Renault Megane
7. The most difficult way to recline a seat yourself and try and put it back up again prize goes to Ford Focus (last one)
8. The most annoying salesman prize goes to any number of people who all tried to come up with amazing reasons why I should buy what they had in stock - 95% of which I knew to be false - e.g. you'll be lucky to find another one of these if you search for 6 months or you don't want to take any notice of that (that being anything that might be relevant). The other annoying thing was the ones who would try and hunt me down like a rabid dog.
There were many other cars we tried along the way and maybe others we hadn't got round to that might have been better but life is too short.
Cars have changed massively over the last 20 years, mainly because they are hundreds of kilograms heavier and this impacts on everything.