M13KYF

fook in ell

T@ssers Sounds like you've had a share of bad luck George. Hope it all gets sorted soon.

i'll get me coat

very

A good spud peeler is the place to start I prefer crinkle cut but quite happy with chunky ones always try and get a good mound with some salad cream

getting mine done tomorrow during its service

> So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase and he > went T'PAU! > > I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? > > He said "No, I've got china in my hand." > > > > > I'm so lazy I've got a smoke alarm with a snooze button. > > > > > I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet 'Best > Before End' > > > > > So I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said "Analogue." > > I said "No, just a watch." > > > > > I went into a shop and I said, "Can someone sell me a kettle." > > The bloke said "Kenwood" > > I said, "Where is he?" > > > > > So I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" > > The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" > > I said, "I don't care what star sign it is." > > > > > I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herbie. > > They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver. > > > > > My mate is in love with two schoolbags. > > He's bisatchel. > > > > > I went to the doctor. I said to him "I'm frightened of lapels." > > He said, "You've got cholera." > > > > > So I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his > name, it's P something T something R. > > > > > I was reading this book today, The History Of Glue, and I couldn't put > it down. > > > > > I phoned the local ramblers club today, and this bloke just went on > and on. > > > > > My mate asked me "What do you think of voluntary work?? > > I said "I wouldn't do it if you paid me." > > > > > So I was in the jungle and there was this monkey with a tin opener. > > I said, "You don't need a tin opener to peel a banana." > > He said, "No, this is for the custard." > > > > > This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin > paper. > He said, "I want you to trace someone for me." > > > > > So this lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. > > It was a turtle disaster. > > > > > So I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. > > She said "Tenpin?" > > I said, "No, it's a permanent job." > > > > > So I told my mum that I'd opened a theatre. > > She said, "Are you having me on?" > > I said, "Well I'll give you an audition, but I'm not promising you > anything." > > > > > I phoned the local builders today, I said to them "Can I have a skip > outside my house?" > > He said, "I'm not stopping you!" > > > > > So this cowboy walks in to a German car showroom and he says "Audi!" > > > > > So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. > > He said, "Nearest the bull goes first" > > He went "Baah" and I went "Moo" > > He said "You're closest" > > > > > So I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen > on it. > > I thought "that's Aboriginal." > > > > > I was driving up the motorway and my boss phoned me and he told me I'd > been promoted. I was so shocked I swerved the car. > > He phoned me again to say I'd been promoted even higher and I swerved > again. > > He then made me managing director and I went right off into a tree. > > The police came and asked me what had happened. > > I said "I careered off the road" > > > > > I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the > shoulders of vampires. > > I was charged with shoplifting on two counts. > > > > > I bought a train ticket and they said "Eurostar" > > I said "Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin. > > > > > I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do > the splits. > > He said, "How flexible are you?" > > I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays." > > > > > So I went to the local video shop and I said, "Can I take out The > Elephant Man?" > > He said, "He's not your type." > > I said "Can I have Batman Forever?" > > He said, "No, you'll have to bring it back tomorrow" >

Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to >fly a plane but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for >those >of us who fly routinely in our jobs. >After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe >sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The >mechanics >correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots >review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that >ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance >complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the >solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers. By the way, >Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever, had an >accident. > >P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. >S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. > >P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. >S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. > > >P: Something loose in cockpit. >S: Something tightened in cockpit. > > >P: Dead bugs on windshield. >S: Live bugs on back-order. >P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute >descent. >S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. > > >P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. > >S: Evidence removed. > > >P: DME volume unbelievably loud. >S: DME volume set to more believable level. > > >P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. >S: That's what friction locks are for. > >P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode. >S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. > >P: Suspected crack in windshield. >S: Suspect you're right. > > >P: Number 3 engine missing. >S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. > > >P: Aircraft handles funny. (I love this one!) >S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. > > >P: Target radar hums. >S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. > > >P: Mouse in cockpit. >S: Cat installed. > > >And the best one for last.................. > >P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget > pounding on something with a hammer. >S: Took hammer away from midget.

so she lost the car keys a few months ago, thats why it unscathed

do better in the flesh, seen a couple, both in black

and where's the link

headrests look a bit baggy but could be a nice little bargain

Found the NXT to be quite easy to remove as long as you don't put it on too thick.

JWT is probably one of the easiest to fit and fairly cheap compared to some. You'll not get any power gains from any of them as the ECU is self learnig and cancels it out. If you do a search, somehwere there is a link to a video on how to install the JWT. Got a stubby myself and noticed no loss of reception.

Autoglym do a tar remover which removes tree sap to.

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/Brembo-brake-cali ... 0043936246

you know Digsy, it's you who runs like a girl

Too true, LMAO at that one!!!!! talking of which where is Tesco boy trolly duty

no hoody, already prooved that one

think i'm doing the cha cha

what about jacko doing his 100m sprint start

me to after 12 months

cheeky chuff

don't know my own strength

done the fuel cap release button myself. Quickly learnt to be more gentle