Tarmac@TarmacSportz

I was talking about the Unichip piggyback ecu I know "It's not just data squirted into your car, it's a fully functional computer working seamlessly with your car's engine management system" I didnt write that by the way I guess what I want is someone who knows about them on here to tell me the gains in lehmans... and what I need to do to de-restrict the 120mph cap on my car

Bloody Dads Good choice tho get some pics up over weekend

Looks fantastic.... I did an old terraced house up a few years back, social life went right down the pan for 9 months but made a few quid so well worth it congrats on a job well done

Now thats an offer I cant refuse , Im just gathering some options just now, need to get myself a spacer first though. Yeah, I was thinking about this but it would be nice to have live mapping done so i can see what they are doing R Hasnt Bennett got the one I sold him up for grabs? I was looking at Bennets 'GT4 ZEDs'.... not really the right time for me at the mo but if I bought one what would I gain ? does it destrict the 120mph top speed on an import ? sorry if these are dumb questions but I dont know the answers

My works lap top doesnt like that

Ha ha I love the 30m dash comment...... Women do not appreciate the importance of Modern Warfare 2 This is the set up you need bud - she wont suspect a thing when she walks in, just shout ' im just on the loo, I will be down in a minute babe'

Well you can't criticise the sound of my pipes

Oh well, another useless post from me to add to the collection Not at all mate handy to know ... How's yer missus she ok?Baby ok? She is good cheers Stan, both are ready for launch day I reckon... Hope alls well with you two

Awesome, I love big boys toys

Oh well, another useless post from me to add to the collection

Im your man if you ever crack the lcd screen ? just fixed my pentax optio for £14 I was quoted £55

Hi all After hearing uk exhausts at the Yorkshire meets it upset me greatly.... My import Zed delivered no noise at all so the decision was made to abort the idea of new seats and buy a zorst... so a K2 it was Well it was a K2 untill I was let down my Japspeed, then after a recommendation from MartinMac I was saved by Mitz 'CS'.... the Scorpion was recommended and thats what I got.... I have to say Mitz and Andy his mechanic are both top guys, the zorst was fitted in no time at all and I was made very welcome and I got two cuppas.... Now I know Mitz and what he does I will be using him for all my servicing, modifications etc in the future and highly recommend the Cougar Store to any one reading this... As for the exhaust..... I knew what I wanted and it wasnt something too 'in your face' but something more subtle, the Scorpion is exactly right for me.... there is very little cab noise but there is a lovely sound at around 3.5k..... Ive also noticed an improvement in performance too and the price was great. I tried taking a vid earlier but its too dark at the mo so ive attached one from youtube which is exactly the same as mine Cheers guys

Yeah thats my other problem My other pet peeve is cleaners.!!!!.. they all same to be bog trotters with serious B.O. Problems... the one I have at the moment feels the need to tell me every thing she has cleaned or about to clean that day..... Like I give a shite, im trying to ensure we supply parts to power stations on time so they don't lose 1.5 million pound a day in revenue when theres a breakdown..... one cleaner came up to me once with a soiled bog brush saying look at the state of this , I couldnt believe she came into my office with a bit of poo on a bog brush, I even had a visitor at the time - I was gob smacked..... sacked the silly cow there and then

I work at Pride Park in front of Derby County Football club Surrounding me is: (in no particular order) Subway KFC Burger King Madonalds Sainsburys 2 pubs 2 butty vans Plus we get 3 mobile vans come around at various times How the hell am I meant to decide what to eat !!!!!

We just use the forklift at work - its ace fun....

+1 Not seen that.... Cookie - how the hell did you get 34 kills in a row? Ive not had much time on this and im still a bit crap but enjoying it all the same.... I got tactical nuked the other day two games in a row.... anyone else seen this ??? it ends the game straight away - mad !!

Love that one

There is a warning in the title

He laid her on the table. So white clean and bare. His forehead wet with beads of sweat. He rubbed her here and there. He touched her neck and then her breast. And then drooling felt her thigh. The slit was wet and all was set, He gave a joyous cry. The hole was wide...he looked inside. All was dark and murky. He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms... And then he stuffed the turkey

One Christmas Eve, Santa Claus comes down the chimney and is startled by a beautiful 19 year old blonde. She asks "Santa, will you stay with me?" Santa says, "Ho Ho Ho I gotta go, gotta go! I gotta deliver these toys to the children, y'know!" She takes off her nightgown, and wearing only a bra and panties, she asks "Santa, now will you stay with me?" Santa says, "Ho Ho Ho I gotta go, gotta go! I gotta deliver these toys to the children, y'know!" She takes off everything and asks "Santa, now will you stay with me?" Santa replies "Hey Hey I gotta stay, gotta stay! I can't get up the chimney with my dick this way!"

Before this does get locked I just want to say that my joke was in context with the rest of the thread. The joke was not meant to offend but may have pushed the barrier slightly...... I stick by that I do find it funny but as pointed out it was probably innappropriate on here.... I did not post anymore rude jokes after I was pulled up for this and I did not post anything offensive on the other 'problem' threads mentioned, so, as ive pointed out to a member of the team I do find a bit harsh using me as a scape goat on this and quoting a post from a locked thread which had banter from both sex's is in my opinion out of order and hanging me out to dry In fact posting that joke up again is just as bad as me posting originally if it was that offensive

Oh dear - bad choice