Somebody bought me a box of Terry's All Gold. I was shocked to find new chocs called French Fancy and Cheat Cluster.
What have Wayne's ex-missus and the 2008 Champions League final goalpost got in common? They've both been banged by JT.
(To the tune of Lord Of The Dance) "Chelsea, wherever they may be, "Don't leave your bird with John Terry.
"Cos he likes a ***, he likes a bit of fluff, "And he'll get your missus up the duff!"